Ain't No Sunshine

It has continued to snow off and on for three days, with grey grey skies. Still hasn't amounted to much by a New Englander's standards, but it sure is miserable to look at. Other than a brief walk around the neighborhood yesterday afternoon, I haven't left the house in days. My spirits are low and I am not especially pleasant to be around.

I am endlessly frustrated with my inability to do, well, most anything. Between my extreme foreign-ness which is like a cultural handicap and my extreme pregnant-ness, which is like a physical handicap, I feel completely useless most of the time. I knew things would be rough at first as I got used to things, and I knew everything would get more difficult as my size increased, but it turns out that the two factors stacked together sincerely suck.

I had hoped to find refuge in the kitchen over the next months, but it has proven to be far less comforting than usual. Even once I learned how to turn on the appliances, they continue to be the bane of my existence, particularly the oven and stove top, neither of which work properly. Our oven doesn't heat correctly, you have to turn it up very high to use it, and its impossible to determine the exact temperature. We haven't found an oven thermometer in the shops yet. So my dreams of baking cakes and cookies to feed G's sweet tooth are dashed - you can't bake when you don't know the temp. The stove top takes FOREVER to heat up, and boiling water can take ages. Plus, we have only one pot and one pan right now, which means I frequently have to stop and clean one or the other in the middle of cooking. I still haven't a clue what ingredients are available here and what aren't, so I am never quite sure what to put on the grocery list or what meals to plan. I am also continually amazed by how expensive everything is, and I worry continuously about choosing ingredients that will be too expensive.

Today I just told G to pick up whatever meat he thought looked good and I'd cook it. Somehow. He brought home two hamburgers and a cube steak, I guess he was in a beef mood. I made the hamburgers into salisbury steaks of sorts, with a mushroom gravy. I made mashed potatoes, and added nutmeg like they do in Belgium, and when they were finished I cleaned the pan and started the frozen green beans cooking. It was around this time that I realized time was up, G had to leave for work and the food was not finished. Even though it was a pretty simple meal, it took forever to cook, far longer than it should have, and time had gotten away from me. He had to go to work without lunch. :( He was a good sport about it, but I felt like such a failure. The one thing I was confident I could do once I got here, feed us, is seeming beyond my abilities.

As most of you have heard, shipping my belongings here was astonishingly expensive, and they won't arrive for 6 to 8 weeks. After the first estimates I got, I had to go through and reduce my already meager belongings by half. What is coming is mostly kitchen stuff and baby stuff at this point. I authorized a charge of just over $3000 before leaving home, and then a few days ago I got an email from the shipping company letting me know they were "slightly off" in their estimate. The man they sent to peruse my belongings had estimated a thousand pounds, and it turns out he was off by nearly a third - I had 1300 pounds. So I of course had to shell out another nearly $500, what choice did I have at that point? My contact at the shipping company tells me the boat is scheduled to arrive at the end of February, but we will see. In the meantime I will grumble about my ill-equipped kitchen, and I will arrange the nursery only in my imagination. Our child is due in 62 days, and the only baby items in the house are a baby blanket I squeezed into my luggage and some adorable puppet washcloths G bought for her the other day. All I can do is hope that my things arrive and that they arrive in one piece. And that they arrive BEFORE the baby does!

I want to thank those of you who have posted comments or have sent me email after reading my blog! Its really nice to hear from home. Please keep it up!

The plumber still hasn't come - apparently the 2 inches of snow on Saturday were too much for him to handle. Keep your fingers crossed that he arrives tomorrow like he is supposed to!